Hoopla
  • Friend: why are you crying?
  • Me: I'm just so beautiful

house arrest wouldn’t even be a punishment for me

(Source: xereneas, via shtarmie)

  • me to a white person: what's your ethnicity
  • white person: i'm 1/4 vanilla bean, 2 cups of skim milk, 3 tablespoons of tapioca, 1 teaspoon of corn starch etc

hoodiecap asked: Cap visits a school assembly and they have him lead the pledge of allegiance but "under God" wasn't added until he went under the ice so he doesn't know that part so he doesn't say it and the next day all the headlines say "CAPTAIN AMERICA FORGETS GOD" and FoxNews freaks out.

bootycap:

oh my god

That’s for if things get really hardcore. Or if you wanna blow up moons. No one’s blowing up moons. You just wanna suck the joy out of everything.

(Source: captsteven, via thiswillbefunforyou)